Thursday, March 21, 2013

I just wanna scream, and shout.. And let it all out..

Okay.. I think I shouldn't post this on twitter since I got so many friends on there and this is probably gonna be read by less people or nobody unless i publicize it.. And I really need to get it out.. I'll delete this post when I'm okay or something later..

I don't know why but every time things don't go my way.. I just suddenly think of all the bad things.. These past 6 months or so have been the miserable time for me.. Everything just like became haywire after Tim left me.. I think I might've gotten a little crazy also..

After Tim left, I started dating a friend of mine in the uni.. Well, that didn't turn out so great cuz I guess I was mostly using him as a rebound but not really also.. I also not sure la.. It's damn confusing.. Everything is so screwed up man.. I can't think straight anymore.. I'm like on a constant roller coaster of emotions all the time.. One minute I'm as happy a bird, One minute i'm emo-ing and being a bitch.. Man I dunno what the fuck is wrong with me man.. I'm so tired of feeling like this all the time.. But I don't know how to fix it..

In the period of 6 months, I lost both my boyfriend and my beet friend in uni. What an accomplishment eh? If there was a trophy for biggest bitch ever I think I would've won it.. hands down for sure..

And until now.. I still blame Timothy for everything that happened to me.. Cuz after he broke up with me.. It's like my balance is gone.. And i'm tipping left and right.. Fuck him la.. I really hate him for doing this to me..

He fucking left me to UK
*fuck there's tears on my keyboard also.. thanks alot Tim.
He fucking stopped trying
He became too fucking busy for me
He fucking lied to me
This is all his fault.. I hate you timmy.. I hate you for doing this to me..

I fucking hate that I still think we can still be together when you get back
I fucking hate that I still think we can do long distance
I fucking hate that I still keep everything you gave me around me cuz I still think everything is gonna work out fine
I am so tired right.. So tired of feeling this way.. I blame him for everything but he doesn't even know it.. He just lives on his happy little life.. Travelling and shits in the UK while leaving me here to rot.. I hate you Timothy Leong.. I really do.. I hate everyone for leaving me here to rot.. I hate everyone... I hate people..

People are so untrustable.. Cannot rely on.. But I am also sick.. Sick of doing everything myself.. I hate being alone. But I don't want anyone to be with me.. I hate everyone.. I just do everything myself easier la.. Don need to expect from people.. Just live a hermit life.. Fuck people la.. So useless.. I also useless.. my head hurts now..=.= sian.