Sunday, November 17, 2013

Thoughts About Boyfriends and Being In a Relationship

I used to think that I knew everything I wanted in a boyfriend..

I wanted him to be a Christian first and foremost, 

I wanted him to be smart :D (Yes i'm attracted to smart guys)
I wanted him to have a talented ( like writing poems, or can play music, etc)
I wanted him to be kind and understanding
I wanted him to be really funny and can always make me laugh :)
I wanted him to be a gamer like me so we can always game together
I wanted him to be tons of fun
I wanted him to smell good xD
I wanted him to be honest with me all the time

But my mind has changed a bit since then..

Hahaha when you have never had a boyfriend before, you'll probably mention all these things that are more on the surface of the guy. But after dating and going out with a bunch of different guys and having a long term relationship, I realized how little these things actually matter.. I mean most of the stuff up there it is really nice to have in a guy, but there are so much deeper things that I really want right now.. Maybe cause now I'm at that age where I could get married to the person I'm with. 

So right now, I would like to make a list, to remind myself of all the things my future husband or any person I would want to call my boyfriend should have so that I will settle for nothing less than this..

I need him to be a Christian

This is self-explanatory.

I need him to be honest

BUT, he has the right to lie to me, IF he has a good reason or it's something that i'm better off not knowing (and no, cheating on me does not count as something i'm better off not knowing).  

I need him to be understanding.

I am a gamer girl, which means I like to spend time gaming and I will have a lot of guy friends. And if you can't stand me hanging out with them or you are unable to trust me with them, then i'm sorry, but you gotz to go. 

I need him to be mature

hahahah I used to not like mature guys but I thought they were boring and un-fun xD hehe and usually they are.. less fun? in a way.. But I guess that's because they know the consequences of their actions which prevents them from doing some "fun" activities. I have learned the hard way that doing something that is fun but wrong, always leaves me with a bad feeling in the end, which I really do not like. 

I need him to be my best friend 

Someone I can talk to, someone who can listen to me. Someone I feel comfortable with. Basically just a person who if not your boyfriend, would be your best friend. 

I need him to be a fixer and not a replacer. 

Okay, sounds a bit stupid but I couldn't find a better way to phrase it xD it means I don't want a guy to see something broken and replace it instead of trying to fix it. hahaha. anyway it means that I want a person who would wanna fix a relationship, make an effort to fix the relationship, and not just go "oh it's not working out, kthxbai". I really don't believe in divorces, I believe marriage is forever. I need someone who will stay with me forever and ever ("for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part") and make an effort to do so.. And I will promise to do the same. 

I want him to be independent

Obviously the guy need to be able to take care of himself before he can take care of you right? xD 

I need to be able to communicate with him

Yes. both efficiently and effectively. I really do not want a repeat of my family, so much issues from miscommunications. It's so much irritation and stress from issues that are not really even issues in the first place. 

I need him to be a naturally calm person

Because I am not a calm person xD I am a bit of a drama queen.. so yeah, i need a person to be my rock, my solid foundation so that when I shake, I have something or someone to hold on to.. xD I can't rely on a person who will go cray cray when I go cray cray :P Not that I am.. crazy i mean. Or am i....?

I need him to be someone who brings out the best and not the worst in me

Well, this is obvious. I think most people want this.

I need a person who wants the best for me

Before his own wants, before my wants, he needs to KNOW(not think) when is the right time and right decision to make sure that he's doing the right thing for both of us..

I want him to love me more than I love him

Wow, yeah this is a tough one for most guys maybe? I don't know hahahah.. I shall ask a guy friend next time xD But yeah, it's something my ex, Tim told me, which I believe it's very important for some reason. I can't seem to recall why right now....

The rest I mentioned up there, are pluses, but they are not needed. I don't need a guy who likes to game, he just has to understand my gaming habits xD. I don't need a guy who is smart and talented, just don't be a lazy ass who can't or doesn't bother to do anything. I don't really him be fun or funny, i just need you to click with me so we can talk and hang out and not feel awkward. Smell good is definitely a turn on, but no he doesn't have to, just bathe relatively often and smell decent :P 

That's about all I can think of right now I guess.. I think I would probably read it back and edit it again the next time I see this. xD Hopefully not.